detachment

Deepening

Deepening

I feel like I’ve let go of so much in the past, like there is so much behind me. The countries, the people, the experiences; I feel so spoiled for having experienced so much, but so lonely at the same time. It reminds me of India, which was a very lonely place, but full of happiness through meditation and stillness. It’s a good kind of lonely, but is a makes-you-stronger and toughens-you-up kind of thing.

I’ve felt like shit for the last month. I guess its how I feel about the first time someone has broken my heart. It hurts like nothing I’ve ever felt and I’ve taken some hits. Emotions are so powerful, I always forget. 7 years of rugby, 7 of football, 10 of basketball, a black belt, and 6 months of boxing makes me a pretty tough dude; this was worse than any kind of physical pain. Waking up and feeling that alone and rejected was completely agonizing, in a free-your-mind or suffer kind of way. Obviously my mediation evolved as a result and now I can find ways to make myself happy no matter what.

I was forced to figure out how to cope. I was still in love with someone who didn’t want to be with me anymore and had to figure out how to make myself happy. But it was hard to eat, hard to watch TV, impossible to make music, impossible to listen to emotional music. Especially the first couple of weeks. I picked myself up and got to work, which is probably one of the best things that I have done in a while. Deepening my gratitude for all that I have and get to experience every day has been getting me past it. But it still hurts.

I started to realize how depressed I’d been for a while. 8 months in long distance takes it toll, and this is my second relationship with distance. Instead of going out into the world and enjoying myself, I kept myself in my room working on my art, pretty inefficiently. I got super lonely, and took it out on the relationship. Not to mention the kind of negativity that started to move through me because of how lonely I felt. I felt victimized by being in another long distance relationship instead of remembering why I was doing it to begin with and being grateful. I forgot about my friends, the life I had built for myself. The distance took its toll.

I found consolation in the things that I realized in India; how much I love the sun, having time in the morning to practice yoga, and now I am working outside. I enjoy life, but I have to remind myself to each day. Yoga is my medicine. I get to work outside now and that is making me very happy. I am also creating a new garden with a pond and some cool water features that I am very excited about. But I realize that I am in charge of making myself happy no matter what; no one else can do it for me.

The last couple of weeks have been a blur of yoga and a new job. I remember how much I like being busy; just not stuck in a desk or in a room. I teach 5 classes a week now and work landscaping 4 days a week. Yoga balances out the work landscaping, makes it easier on my back. But I’m making money now and am much more comfortable than being on the yoga salary alone, which is pretty dismal; firstly because my classes aren’t super popular and second because its hard to make good money unless you own a studio.

Luckily I keep myself busy, but the message remains clear; I have internal work to do on learning how to make my life a place that I really want to be in. I think I focused a lot on traveling and a lot on learning and now its time to create and combine the things I’ve learned into my lifestyle.

I find myself being drawn to painting more and more. All kinds of creation. Music continues to get more complex and more instinctual at the same time; I also spend a few hours a week playing the piano, just to feel what is possible with chords and to practice my rhythm. Ableton feels like it flows through me now, the software is nothing short of amazing. I am making a dark electro song right now and it feels like it’s going to be really awesome. In combination with writing this blog and wanting to finish the Wanderer, it makes my time pretty full. Books are a lot of work. But I am spending most of my time outside and that is how I want my life to be.

My yoga teaching has been improving dramatically lately. I am simply getting more and more confident in what I am teaching and how I practice my own yoga and how I deliver that to my community. This makes me ridiculously happy because I have put a ton of hard work into teaching yoga and can now enjoy teaching without so much pressure on myself to improve. Though I will continue to focus on getting better, each and every class simply by doing my best in each one. I have taken to practicing before each class to come up with unique sequencing and am getting more and more familiar with what people need from their yoga classes.

My art is moving forward, but my heart is heavy. And that’s okay, I have some lessons to learn about myself and I enjoy making myself happy. Right now I need to be alone and learn to be completely okay with that. It’s nice to enjoy not having responsibility in my life right now, because I am sure that things won’t always be that way. I get to practice yoga every single day; my life is good 🙂

Hard times force us to dig deep and remember what we believe in and why. Ultimately, I am forcing myself to regain some discipline and to put my weight behind my word. Challenges have a way of uncovering the best in us, if we do our best. Here’s to the future and finding reasons to be happy and grateful for now.

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The Idea of Evil Giovanni Domenico Ferretti, Cain and Abel, 1740

Evil and the Evolution of Morality

Evil and Humanity

Evil and morality are thought structures for defining good and bad actions. Definitions of evil vary according to the culture, time, and context of the people who are defining it. An absolute definition is illusive. Many describe it as a supernatural force in our world. Some say that it is led by satan, the opposite of god. In Catholicism, this would refer to lucifer’s betrayal of god and descent into hell. Evil ascribes a certain kind of ignorance, selfishness, neglect, ignorance, and amorality.

Logical Beliefs about how evil exists

There are four different logical possibilities regarding evil, one of which you will fall into. Moral relativism is the belief that morality is shared amongst a group of people, but relative to individuals. That means that each group of people believes themselves to be ethically or morally superior to the others; most philosophers question the idea of an objective morality. It holds that morality is flexible to the cultures that employ it. Most critics of this view claim that this creates a logical conundrum, whereby judgements of morality cannot be applied.

The second possible belief is moral absolutism, where you believe that particular actions are inherently right or wrong and that certain restrictions on behavior shouldn’t be violated. Immanuel Kant’s views on duty and rights can be placed into this category. For instance, if you believe that violence should never be used even in self-defense, than you are morally absolutist about violence being wrong.

Moral universalism, or moral objectivism is the meta-ethical position that some systems of ethics apply themselves universally to a like group of individuals. For instance, all humans should not steal. This is directly opposed to moral relativism or nihilism because it creates a common standard by which all beings should act. This is an Abrahamic belief, meaning it is shared amongst the biggest religions in the world: Christianity, Islam, and also Judaism. This is the view that the United Nations adopted in 1948 after WWII, in Paris.

Amorality is the disregard for morality. This is different from immoral, which refers to the subject views of the agent/doer. Any being that is not able to act with judgement is categorically amoral. Friedrich Nietzsche rejected morality by saying that he had to for non-moral reasons. Moral Nihilism is an offshoot of this, whereby someone would consider killing someone as neither moral or immoral, which is pretty much the direct opposite of moral objectivism.

Now, you understand probably where you fall, but it is important to remember that animals, most particularly domesticated animals with exposure to human values and behaviors can develop a sense of morality as well; just think about your dog or cat. You can also be certain that this exists within animal communities for the sake of well-being for the entire community, but evolving as a sort of natural phenomenon (think of a flock of bird, or school of fish that work together by instinct).

Morality as an Evolution for Social Species

So let’s explore how morality has evolved to become what it is today, certainly led by the virtuous altruism and nihilistic amoral exemplars from the human race.

Carl Jung talked a lot about evil as a shadow-side inherent in each human, but believed to be a separate force from themselves by each individual. People project their own shadows onto others; their insecurities, fears, stresses, etc. He believed the story of Jesus to be an account of God facing his own shadow side.

Morality is certainly an evolutionary lens of humanity; we invented its examination over the course of our evolution. Morality is system of ideas about right and wrong, originating with mythology and evolving most drastically with religion. Most scientists argue that human moral behaviors can be traced through animal behaviors and instincts. Many scientists argue that there is an intrinsic science behind morality, though social scientists general consider morality to be a construct.

Evidence suggests that all life on Earth has a single common ancestor, a small single-celled organism that lived 3.8-3.5 billion years ago. But as we learn more and more about horizontal gene transference, which is the primary mechanism of gene transfer within micro-organisms, we are starting to understand that this single common ancestry might have evolved differently than we currently hypothesize.

This has led to mammals and social societies within animal species with specific hierarchies where each individual knows their place. Social order is maintained by rules of expected behavior and consequences for actions. Higher functioning primates like our closest relatives, chimpanzees and bonobos often reciprocate social behaviors and remembers favors, favorites, preferences, empathy, attachment, bonding, and altruism. Vampire bats reciprocate by sharing blood regurgitation with their bat friends, or those in dire need of feeding. Certain monkeys and dogs refuse to act unless rewarded properly and fairly for their actions.

Chimpanzees lives in groups of about 50, forming complex societies with distinct and unique hierarchies. Paleolithic hominids (2.6 millions years ago to 10,000 years ago) lived in groups of a few hundred individuals. Malcolm Gladwell mentions that humans have a limit of about 50 close friends and 300 in their extended circle, which is of course aided by advancements in technology. As community size increased, morality evolved as a means of control, cohesion, and solidarity. As the number of individuals within communities increased, so did the complexity of these hierarchies and moral systems until things like religions, cults, and more complex societal functions began to emerge.

How are Human Morals Different?

Humans societies have two major differences that separate our societies from primate and higher functioning animal societies. We enforce our moral codes more strictly with punishments, rewards, and reputation building. Humans also have a degree of abstract reasoning and objective judgement that is not present in the animal kingdom.

Morality has evolved so far that it has created a sense of human altruism that is even greater than the urge to pass on genes in many instances. This theory of collective social mind that humans can infer or transfer to each other with high levels of intelligence is an evolution that is displayed in primates, but never as heavily or significantly as in humans. Neither is the altruism that humans display towards the collective.

Psychologists believe that religion may have evolved from morality and used supernatural principles and entities to keep the group cohesive and allow the collective to adapt to the ever evolving needs of the collective with enhanced chances for cohesive survival.

There are two primary expressions and emotions involved with morality: the first is disgust; the second is shame. Both of these contribute to a social punishment system that is very active in the world around us today, especially on the internet.

Religion, Morality, and Evil

Finally, here is a list for each religion, categorizing how it’s doctrine thinks about evil:

  • Hinduism – Dharma divides right from wrong with strict systems of morality based on actions.
  • Christianity – any thought or action against the will of God is immoral.
  • Judasim – evil comes into existence through the actions; humans are responsible for choices.
  • Islam – there is no concept of absolute evil. Evil is lack of good, or disrespect of Allah.
  • Buddism – Desire is the root of all evil, but more focused on suffering and ignorance.
  • Sikkhism – evil evolves depending on one’s location along the path to liberation.

Conclusion

Remember that I am doing my best to be impartial here; if you feel like something is missing please add a comment! Evil is certainly something that has evolved with humanity and continues to evolve today, though I did my best to steer clear of any news on the subject.

This wraps up my discussion on the idea of evil, morality, and the evolution of what is right and wrong. I’m hoping to write my next article about Aristotle his concept of “the good”, if you have anything you want me to mention or discuss, let me know!

References:

  1. Evolution of Morality
  2. Last Universal Ancestor
  3. BBC
  4. Morality in Islam

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"Shiva meditating Rishikesh" by Iqbal Mohammed - http://www.flickr.com/photos/blaiq/75116239/. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Shiva_meditating_Rishikesh.jpg#/media/File:Shiva_meditating_Rishikesh.jpg

Shiva’s Freedom

Death is the ultimate freedom. This is Shiva’s gift to all of life.

Mahadeva, or the supreme deity, also known as Shiva is the destroyer and transformer of all of life. He is limitless, unchanging, eternal, formless, and the ultimate yogi; one who has joined with the death of all things.

Shiva is often displayed slaying demons with his trident. When not in battle, he is practicing yoga alone on Mount Kailash in his ascetic lifestyle of renunciation. His third eye sees all and the Ganges river itself flows from his hair.

Shiva is quite possibly the oldest god in history, dating back to the Indus Valley Civilization; however, his worship has lost none of its potency and he is worshipped across southeast Asia.

Shiva is joined with the supreme self, the Brahman.  Shiva powerfully deals destruction and death to make room for Brahma to create in the world. He smears his body with the ashes of the dead representing the impending death of all beings. He dances to his drum bringing fiery and fierce death to all whose time has come to pass from this world.

Shiva is a very fierce representation of what will eventually happen to all of us. A precedent to the grim-reaper, he represents what comes for life eventually and acceptance of this is the greatest freedom. Fear of death.

If we can see past our own ego, we can realize that we never really existed in the first place. It is an illusion to think that we matter more than the matter we are made up of. Even our idealisations of past figures in history are false representations. No one that is alive now actually knew who Jesus was. Nor Moses. Nor anyone else that has died over a hundred years ago.

It is important to remember that life is short. Make the most of each day. Gratitude for challenges, lessons, and difficulties that force us to grow. Once you let go of your ego, you can be free. Shiva, yoga, and ascetic practices will help you to let go. Freedom is in your mind, no one can give it to you or take it away from you. Everything else is just an illusion.

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"Rough diamond" by Unknown USGS employee - Original source: USGS "Minerals in Your World" website. Direct image link: [1]. Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rough_diamond.jpg#/media/File:Rough_diamond.jpg

Diamonds in the Rough

“A diamond has the highest hardness and thermal conductivity of any bulk material; it can be contaminated by very few types of impurities. Most natural diamonds are formed at high temperature and pressure. A material with superlative physical qualities, most of it original from the strong bonds between its atoms.” -Wikipedia

Sometimes, people rise above their circumstances to greatness. They are forged, hardened by pressure and time to rise above their surroundings and to become more than anyone thought they could become. I’ve been lucky to witness this in several people from all over the world. People all over the world have the capacity to be greater than their circumstances would “normally” dictate.

There’s a popular saying going around now: “Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have.” I have come to believe that this is completely untrue and a complete idealization; all you have to do is look at the amount of corruption in much of our species to know that people often take the easy way out. Look at the US senate, can you really say they are doing the best they can with what they have?We are lazy beings, like all other mammals we want to be able to sit back, relax, and enjoy the sun and the food it grows. (in balanced quantities of course)

This isn’t to say that people will always take advantage of everything they can; instead, its acknowledging that there will always be both sides to the equation; those that take complete advantage and those that take none and in fact give willingly with no thought of receiving. I’ve witnessed a lot of both lately while I’ve been traveling.

Yesterday was a rough day for me; the traveling and budget have gotten to me and I’m exhausted (you can read yesterday’s article on my mental fatigue here. But the equation will always balance itself out. Today I met an absolute gem of a woman on my way to the Minh Mang tomb. Her name was Rei Nguyen.

Rei was a farmer and told us that she and her husband made around 5 million dong per month (about $250). She sent her kids to a school that cost about 2 million per month, in the city of Hoi.

My girlfriend and I rented a scooter for $4 and headed to the tomb this morning, pretty excited to see the most renowned tomb in what appears to be the cultural center of Vietnam. Largely affected by the Vietnam War (known locally as the American War), we were able to see a lot of the effects of the war in our travels, most particularly the War Remnants Museum in Ho Chi Minh (Saigon). There was a good amount of propaganda at the museum, especially geared towards the use of illegal chemicals such as agent orange, the US’s involvement in the war, and Vietnam’s victims. This is not to say there wasn’t massive effect from illegal chemical weapons used by the US, but there was no mention of Russia, or of the civil war in Vietnam. As usual, there was a scapegoat to take the blame and the US took full brunt force of it; it’s probably deserved. (again, I’m not saying I know the situation, but I’ve seen this before in WWI & WWII propaganda, Civil War propaganda, and pretty much every war in history is necessarily affected by propaganda where one country is blamed for the entirety of the war)

Rei’s english was incredibly good for anyone in Vietnam, let alone a farmer with an education that ended when she was 12. She works 10 hour days out in the fields with her husband and eats mostly rice and noodles, though she wasn’t malnourished as far as I could tell. She was extremely kind to us, showed us a shortcut to the tomb and then invited us to her small house by the river to talk and have some tea.

The tomb was incredibly peaceful; death has a way of making the life so powerful.  We walked around the tomb for a couple of hours in the scorching heat and humidity, then returned with her to her home.

Happy_in_Vietnam

I noticed she was lucky enough to have electricity and running water; he house was small, with wooden walls and a tin roof and she graciously offered us tea while we spoke about her life and how my life was very different from hers. She ultimately ended up asking for money for her children’s school, but it was far more of an afterthought than most of what I have experienced in Vietnam. Most will ask for money, then turn their back and mutter under their breath when you refuse their service. She offered us a kind smile and sharing of words and experiences that has been unique in my trip to Vietnam.

In this trip, I’ve met people poorer than you can imagine that still show kindness and refuse to take extra money no matter how hard you try. I’ve met people who I’ve gotten along with like I’ve known them my whole life.

One sterling example of this is one of my Muslim friends from Yemen; probably the one of the nicest and friendliest people I have ever met. He owns about six AK47’s at his home and Yemen and left to pursue a more peaceful education in Mysore. Yemen is currently in Civil war and he has been directly affected by it with the death of some of his immediate family members, yet still he pursues kindness and happiness relentlessly. I was with him while it started and there was definitely a lot of swearing and frustration, but it didn’t change his outlook. He goes against any stereotype I could have held against someone of the Muslim religion.

The owner of the Chakra house, Rajesh was like this as well; one of the nicest and most relaxed people I have ever met. He and I will be friends just like the day I left if I ever return to Mysore (which is highly probable). It’s funny how you meet people who you feel like you’ve known your whole life when you travel.

People are individuals and that’s how they should be treated. One is not representative of the whole, because there is so much variation in our species. So at the same time that there are all of these awesome people I have met, there are also some abominable ones.

Let me give you some examples, from history. I don’t like to talk about negatives in reality because people can change and who am I to judge them. With that said, world leaders are different and I feel at full liberty to judge their decisions. There are some terrible people in our world: Kim Jong Il, definitely not doing the best with what he has especially after his most recent execution; neither did Stalin, or Hitler, or Mussolini. Even American leaders smell of stank corruption that can ruin the people: George Bush, Dick Cheney, Nixon, Ulysses S Grant, Kennedy. Even the greatness of America has such powerful potential for corruption because of the essence of its power.

The truth is, humans will look out for themselves before others and in our modern world we absolutely HAVE to expect this from everyone. Think about it this way; even if you are about self-sacrifice, you would give to your children first and foremost the greatest opportunity to succeed in the world. We look out for ourselves before others and this isn’t a bad thing, it’s simply the reality of humanity. This is why the US is struggling right now, our system of checks and balances has become completely unbalanced in the wake of our economic prosperity in the 80s and 90s and leaders continue to take advantage of the people they rule just as they have since the beginning of time.

Unfortunately, this can even apply to our immediate family. You see celebrities with major mental and stability problems, likely because they can’t even trust their support systems and families anymore (this is just my observation, feel free to comment on it). It’s really sad, but that’s how money can corrupt people. Greed, it seems, is simultaneously the great human strength and weakness.

But on the other side, there are people who will give without even caring about what they receive; they give kindness freely and love as often as they can, as long as their basic needs are met. Sometimes, they even defy those. Remember to think of it as an equation, because that’s what the world we live in requires.

Writing yesterday made me feel so much better, today the same. I really hope that these comments are misunderstood, I am trying to be very objective and am applying my experiences to the greater scope of the world we live in together. I walked around today with a big smile and decided that I would kill my fatigue with kindness and it has worked. I feel a hell of a lot better.

Please let me know what you think of this article in the comments, or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/padayoga

I always love to hear from readers.

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village wanderer part 8

The Wanderer, Part 8

Please read the first parts of the story here:
The Wanderer, Part 1
The Wanderer, Part 2
The Wanderer, Part 3
The Wanderer, Part 4
The Wanderer, Part 5
The Wanderer, Part 6
The Wanderer, Part 7

Tas rolled over; his pain returned in full force. His head was throbbing and his mind was lost. He opened his eyes sometimes, but would shut them immediately because of the throbbing pain shooting from the side of his head. In the depths of his agony, he could see the smile of the man with the razor teeth grinning in between bursts of pain from his spine and head. His body was useless.

For two-days, he simply sat and recovered in a small hut, the village women brought him food and water and they arranged for a few new cloths for him to wear. Occasionally, they would bring him a coconut and it seemed to make everything feel a bit better.

He didn’t leave the small space that was allotted to him; he didn’t think he could even if he wanted to. The pain in his head was overwhelming.

Tas was happy to eat and drink his fill after a few days of nearly starving in the jungle. The women brought him bowls of rice and noodles and vegetables and some fruit to match. But their tea was absolutely intoxicating, Tas must have had 6 full cups throughout the day. He also had a bowl of soup each night for dinner, which was a delightful mix of squash and lentils. He slept on a soft fur that one of the women had given to him and as he recovered, he couldn’t help but feel very lucky to be where he was.

On the third day he woke with his spine still in pain, but his head felt better. It was still a bit hard to breath because his ribs were bruised, but he could stand without too much pain. There was still a dull throbbing, but he soon found himself stretching his spine. It was painful at first, but as he warmed his body slightly, the tension faded. He was still very sore, but he was ready to be out and about.

He walked out of his little hut and immediately was surrounded by people. The villagers acted like they had never seen an outsider before and their eyes were on him everywhere he walked. He was pulled this way and that by a small crowd of children, until one of the women shoo’ed them away. Her body was tattooed, but her face was relatively free from ornamentation.

She took him by the arm to an older man; on his head was a crown of feathers and carved wood and his face was painted to look very important, red bolts of lightning on his cheeks and vertical lines of white on his forehead. His eyes didn’t leave Tas as the boy approached. He seemed to look at him like the old wandering man did, piercing through his skin to something deeper. Only this man had spear surrounding his chair, long knives and arrows laced the background menacingly.

The old man looked at Tas for a moment, then called him closer. The woman pushed Tas so that the older man could examine him. He spent several long minutes examining Tas’ skin, then his head, then his ribs and spine. He looked at Tas in the eyes and seemed to have decided something. He called out in a loud voice to the entire villages and they roared and applauded as one in response. Tas wasn’t sure what was happening, but the entire village seemed to come alive at the old man’s words. The men began to organize to leave, grabbing weapons and painting each other with face paint. The women began to prepare food, Tas began to hear them chatter and heard sizzling in the background and could smell their fires being lit. In 20 seconds, the entire village had roared to life.

The woman took Tas back to his tent, where he remembered his throbbing head again. The pain had come back, though not as strong as the day before. He spent the rest of the day resting and listening to the village prepare, but had no idea what for.

When the shadows of the afternoon became longer, Tas was yelled at to come outside by the woman who was tending to him. He couldn’t quite figure out what they were saying at first, but once he had left his hut, three women grabbed him and pulled him towards a fire that was roaring in the center of the village. The men had returned with various game, a few chickens, but most notably a boar that was being skinned by the vicious man who had struck Tas. He felt his blood boil as he watched the man tearing through the boar’s flesh with his knife.

The women led him to a seat beside the old man, then began to feed him. All kinds of drinks and different vegetables were placed before him and he couldn’t help but devour them. He had never eaten so well as the past few days, but this was different. He felt like a king with servants that were continually arranging his food for him to eat, bringing new dishes until he couldn’t eat anymore. Once he was done, he realized that the entire village was waiting for him to finish.

Something was very wrong here, Tas thought to himself. The words from the villainous man days before rung in his ears ‘no friends here’. He couldn’t help but feel that this was not in his honor, but for something else entirely, but he had no idea what.

After everyone had finished eating, the sun began to set. The men began to pull out pipes and pass them between each other, before passing them to the women and even some of the older children. Tas had smelled tobacco before, but this was different, a skunkier smell. He felt a bit disoriented after a while and could tell that the smoke was strong. The villager’s eyes turned a dark red as they digested and smoked. Finally, Tas was offered a pipe, but after one pull found himself coughing uncontrollably. He felt a strange peace begin to settle over him and he almost felt as he had with the old man in the last days in the desert. He thought back grimly at the old man’s final prank.

The men began to scuffle about and soon a big wooden bowl that was cured for fire was brought into the center of the fire. The old man rose from his chair to the silence of the village and began to put ingredients into the bowl, some that Tas could see, some that he couldn’t. He could make out various roots and leaves and other plants of various sizes and shapes. He added some dark green and black liquid into the mix and set it over the fire.

A few minutes later, when the sun was just setting down on the horizon, Tas was led to the bowl. He was given a ladle and told to drink and he did. It was a nasty taste, but they gave him a bit of fruit afterwards. The old man drank longly from the bowl, as if relishing the taste, which Tas found unbelievable. It tasted like a mix of cow dung and overcooked vegetables.

Once the old man was done, the other men in the tribe took smaller portions of the strange liquid then the remains were passed to the women and finally, a few of the eldest children.

Tas returned to his seat and after a time, began to feel very weird. He started to see lights that couldn’t be there and the whole world seemed to come more alive. He couldn’t stop staring at the stars and the setting sun and felt his entire being start to melt away. The entire world melted away and all he could feel was the nothingness inside of himself, a void that grew larger and larger until it was overwhelming and he felt a burst of light come forth from his chest and illuminate the entire village. He saw his mother and sisters dancing at their own village fire and felt an intense longing, time seemed to pass so slowly. He opened his eyes to look at the stars again and found himself floating amongst them, a light inside of him was burning bright. He felt as if the stars were his brothers, though he had forgotten them. His vision became more and more in control and suddenly, he re-realized where he was. The old man was right beside him and he seemed to be inoculated, looking up at the sky with closed eyes.

Suddenly, seemingly in response to Tas’ gaze, the old man looked over at Tas and yelled loudly, so the entire village erupted. He took Tas by the arm and then slapped him to the floor. Pain flared in Tas, though it seemed to be distant in a way. He could still see the old man in perfect detail, his skin seemed to hang like a bag around his body and it swirled and magnified as he stared. He was brought to his feet again, and was bound to a tall pole. Tas finally knew that this was a tribe of the sort that were in children’s stories in his village. He knew immediately that these men planned to eat him. As if in response to his thoughts, the grim man who had injured him before came to the fire, licking his lips. Tas began to struggle, but it was too late.

They brought him to the fire and he knew it was over. He thought back to the old man and wondered how he could have gotten so lost. He walked slowly with the men surrounding him until they dropped him with a yell, close to the fire. Tas fell on his face, but could hear the cries of the villagers, screaming. Hell itself seemed to break loose from the lips of the women..

Tas tried to roll over, but couldn’t and found a rock to untie his hands from the pole. As he finally was able to look up, he saw a flash of darkness moving against the fire, seeming to dance with its flames. He finally broke the bindings of his hands and used them to raise his head to see what was happening.

A group of villagers were backed up against one of the larger huts, one shorter looking man with a large spear threatened them. Tas would have found this comical in any other situation, but the villagers seemed terrified. He smelt burning flesh and turned to the fire to see the body of a headless man singing in the flames. He looked on the floor to see more bodies, at least a dozen men, most of the them dead. The rest would be within minutes because of their wounds. Gashes, cuts, and blood decorated their bodies, giving signs of the battle that was continuing now.

The fire just barely illuminated the short attacker, who seemed to fly through the villagers while tearing through their flesh. The cries of the villagers grew less and less until only a dark silence remained. The fire was growing softer and Tas was still having visions of his family, of the old man, and of the stars and the life around him. But this was interrupted by his thoughts of the attacker that he watched flow like a swan with his movement. Who was this godly man who could kill a dozen ferocious villagers at once?

As if on cue, the attacker approached Tas and to Tas’ surprise, gently untied his feet from the pole and sat him up to look at him. When Tas could finally see the man’s face, he gasped.

It was the old man from the desert. He seemed to know that Tas was out of his mind and left him for the time being, but Tas sputtered and tried to speak to no avail. He was amongst the stars now, feeling the eternal energies of the cosmos flowing through him as a stream through a valley. He wondered if the old man was a hallucination and if perhaps he was dead. What a curious thing, life. Tas thought to himself.

He came back down for a moment to see the old man again, whose gaze hadn’t left Tas’ face. He helped Tas to his feet and brought him to a nice place to sleep. Tas cried the whole way, not knowing if he was alive or dead, but knew that this man, who had saved his life and viciously slaughtered 20 men in the process was a part of god. He felt it as strongly as he had ever felt anything in his life. As the visions began to fade, so Tas faded into sleep, the world forgotten and blackness overtook him.

The Wanderer, Part 8 Read More »

work from http://www.aboriginalworkshops.com/

The Wanderer, Part 7

Please read the first parts of the story here:
The Wanderer, Part 1
The Wanderer, Part 2
The Wanderer, Part 3
The Wanderer, Part 4
The Wanderer, Part 5
The Wanderer, Part 6

Tas rolled awake in the midst of a hard rainfall, his canopy was beginning to flood because he hadn’t angled the roof properly. He had been alone for longer than he could remember, though he knew it had only been a few days. He had eaten well the night before; he found a mango tree and caught a wild chicken in the jungle. The old man would have disapproved, but he didn’t care. The chicken had filled him up more than any meal ever had. He salted some of the cooked meat from the night before and began to eat.

After his breakfast, his mind turned immediately to his surroundings and seeing that the rain was worsening, set out into the jungle.

His shoes were soaked in minutes so he replaced them with large fan leaves that served as a sort of boat for his feet as he waded. Tas soon learned to stay up slightly in the trees to see any available fruit. It also turned out to be a bit faster than walking on the mud. He spent an hour wading towards the south, he wished to see deeper into the depths of the wild. He could go home tomorrow.

Tas hadn’t seen a tiger since the day Vesu died. He still felt the fear in his body, a shaking that woke him in the night sometimes. He continued on his path for a bit longer, wading through mud until he fell over a tree root and was covered in filthy mud from the forest floor.

He groaned with displeasure as the mud slipped from his skin, his face was completely covered. He used one last clean spot from his shirt to clean around his eyes after using his fingers to remove most of the muck. Then he grabbed his water and washed his face. It was getting low, his original supply for a week had dwindled down to just a few days. He would have to find a waterhole, or some coconuts soon, which he had scarcely found in this thick jungle.

As Tas finished wiping his eyes, he became aware of a man standing directly in front of him. This man had hole in his ears and they were filled with wooden carvings, his face was tattooed with dark symbols of colored birds and some creatures that Tas had never seen, but seemed ferocious enough. He seemed to loom over him as he approached menacingly. The man seemed to move with pure muscle and in a short step took out his bow to aim it at Tas. He laced it with a long arrow and pulled it back, ready to split Tas’ head open.

But Tas stared back at this man, hard determination seemed to sizzle on his skin, a fire began to burn in his belly. Had he come this far to let this man end him here?

He rose and walked over to the man with his head bowed and moved the arrow away from its original target. The man whistled and four others moved from the shadows. The rain was still pouring, splashing all around and sometimes bouncing right up to splash Tas right in the eyes.

The men moved towards him and he kept still. He simply looked up for a second, put his hand on his heart, and said, “friend” with the same hard determination that he had met the gaze of the first man. These others were even taller, stronger, and more tattooed and ornamented in strange ways. One had holes in his cheeks, another had the skin of his hands missing and tattoos over the visible veins in his legs. He looked up to see the warrior’s face, a scar laid over one eye that was still functional. The scar continued down to his lip, forming a mean and permanent grimace.

They grabbed Tas by the shoulders and bound him, taking him through the jungle, further in the east. He struggled to free himself at one point, but the grim-looking man hit him in the back of the head, just soft enough not to knock him out. He remembered the sage in the desert and thought back to their last moments together. The old man did not seem so crazy now, compared to this madness. Tas knew of the eastern tribes, men who ate men, sometimes women and children. Some smoked all variety of herbs and plants, others spent days in silence, similar to his own master. He wondered where these men were taking him.

When they stopped at some coconut trees to refill their water supplies and take a short break, Tas waited patiently for the permanently frowning man to leave him. He couldn’t help but stare at the scar and wonder what it was from. After a bit, the man went into the jungle, probably to relieve himself. Tas immediately got up to talk to the first man who seemed to be in charge. Tas saw the dark tattoos around his eyes as he walked closer, until the man saw Tas approach and gave a quick whistle. Immediately, Tas was thrown to the ground and restrained. He looked up at the man and was immediately forced back down to the floor and bound. As he rose from the much he could just make out the tatoos of the grim man, felt his harsh laugh pierce through him as he swiped with his spear in a motion Tas couldn’t see, but all he felt was pain.

Tas fell to his knees, the air was knocked out of him so he could barely breathe. He looked up one last time at the man with the ornamented ears. The man smiled for the first time, a wicked smile of razor sharp teeth, red and bloody stained teeth, and two gold noserings. It was truly terrifying and Tas couldn’t help but show his fear. The man moved closer to Tas’ ear and whispered, “no friends here.” And then he bit off a chunk of Tas’ ear. He howled with laughter as Tas howled his pain; Tas was shaking and began to struggle ferociously against his captors. A moment later, the grim man approached Tas and smiled with rotten teeth that were as sharp as knives and now fresh with blood. He took the end of his spear again, this time swinging wickedly and knocked Tas to the floor and down into the depths of the dark.

The Wanderer, Part 7 Read More »

gita battle

Purusartha | पुरुषार्थ

The Goals of Life

Purusha and Artha are two very complex Sanskrit words that represent a Hindu ideal of life’s purpose[Purusha (पुरुष) and Artha (अर्थ)].Together, the words mean purpose of being, the objective of human pursuit, or the meaning of life. Purusha means human being, soul, or the universal principle and soul of the universe. Artha means purpose, objects of desire, or meaning.

The goals of man, the aims of human life, purpose of being, four goals and virtues that lead to a happy life:

  1. Dharma – Dharma is a key concept in Indian religion that has multiple meanings. Dharma is said to be in harmony with the forces of the cosmos, Brahman, or rta which denotes the “right way” of living. In Buddhism it means “cosmic law and order” and refers to phenomenon and the path and teachings of the buddha. These can be considered virtues.
  2. Artha – can be defined as the means of life, sense, purpose, meaning, goal, or essence. Essentially, it is the activities or resources required to live in the desired state for the individual. How you make a living and feed yourself.
  3. Kama – means desire, wish, or longing in Hinduism. Kama most often denotes a sexual desire, but also can mean longing for pleasure, desires, wishes, passions, aesthetic enjoyment of life, affection, or love with or without sexual connotations. This goals are considered healthy and essential when balanced with the other three goals.
  4. Moksha – means emancipation, liberation, or release more specifically from Samsara and the Maya of this world. It connotes self-realization, self-knowledge, and ultimate freedom.

Together, these form the goals of human life according to the Hindu tradition, however these aspects need to be balanced. Together these turn the wheel that leads towards Moksha, or liberation from the cycles of death and rebirth, ultimately suffering.

It’s nice to think about life as having a need to balance between different pursuits. Too much focus on one, and you become imbalanced and therefore unhappy.

The Hindu traditions recognize certain necessities in life, that all pleasure cannot be avoided. Very different from the Puritan influenced american spiritual traditions such as the quakers or amish. There are nights of indulgence, days of fasting, all kinds of different traditions to allow the body to fluctuate and process the world in the way that it tends to do naturally rather than forcing it to do things in order to conquer the mind. If you are interested in learning more about balancing as your strive forward successfully, Nishkam Karma will be a great guide for you, which is a central message in the Bhagavad Gita.

Hinduism also has answers for those who do understand the tensions between pursuing wealth and virtue simultaneously and provide answers in terms of pursuit with renunciation, craving-free dharma-driven action. In cases of conflict, Dharma is said to be the most important because it leads to Moksha more so than the other two do and Moksha is the main ideal of human life. It is also the foundation for pursuing wealth and sexual pleasure, or whatever it is that you desire.

So this is a method for you to go after the things that you want in life, granted that you remain detached from the end states, because desire for an “end-state” or “product” will only lead to suffering because such things are temporary. Remember that you are a process, that you are happening, right now, processing the world around you in various different ways that you couldn’t possibly be aware of. So enjoy the ride, as they say.

 

Purusartha | पुरुषार्थ Read More »

desert_wandering

The Wanderer, Part 2

Please read the first part of the story here: The Wanderer, Part 1

There was once a boy, who decided that he would follow a wanderer into the desert to learn about god. The boy’s name was Tas. After receiving the approval of his parents, he travelled into the desert in the apprenticeship of a wandering wise man to find perfect bliss, realization of the divine, and to learn god.

They walked until the small town  once a few hours had passed in silence, the boy began to ask the sage questions. However, the desert man did not respond. At first he listened, but upon hearing the boy’s questions, the teacher dismissed his words. The boy fell silent, angry that he had been duped into following an old man who wouldn’t talk.

Finally, they came to a tree, alone in the vast expanse of desert, rising into the setting sun like a monolith of entangled roots, branches, and a thick trunk supporting a massive web of leaves fanning out in all directions.

Upon arrival, the old man seemed to inspect some different areas of the tree, then he hit some things, moved some rocks, then he grabbed under a protruding root for a small sack. Inside, Tas could barely make out some old and dusty looking jars and a few scrolls. The old man grabbed one of the smaller jars and a small but very sharp knife.

Then the sage, slow as usual when not walking in the hot sun, took his time to uncover a hidden pot and then gathered some stones to place in a circle for a fire. The grass was a dead golden brown, and the sun was setting down into the horizon, purple and pink streaks of light shone through the powerful clouds illuminating the sky. Tas’ stomach rolled on itself; he was just starting to realize the effects of walking all day without eating. He clutched his stomach.

“We can eat now?” He said simply, not wanting to offend the sage, fearing that his meal might depend upon it. The sage looked at him for a long moment and waited. Suddenly, he laughed.

Tas was confused. Who was this man who had led him astray into the desert and seemed to know the way so well. He thought the man was holy and knew of god and that sort of thing, but he was beginning to think that this man was simply insane and very poor.

The old man laughed again, as if he knew what the boy was thinking. “You don’t think twice about god now. Funny, how easy we forget.”

The boy had no idea what the man meant. Yes, he was on his journey to god. What was the old man talking about? Surely he didn’t need to focus on his mission every moment of the day.

“I don’t think about god because I am hungry.” Tas said slowly, uncertain of the old man’s eccentric responses. He looked up from his arranging of stones, which he had been finishing for the last 5 minutes. He began to use the knife to cut wood from the tree for the fire. Tas wondered how long it might take.

The sage seemed to move even slower. He made no response to Tas, which just proved to infuriate him further. Tas’ stomach was beginning to really hurt now, he could not remember ever going a day without a meal.

He watched as the old man slowly started a fire, using a flint and tinder that he carried with him. Tas was preoccupied with his stomach, it was really starting to growl now. The sage heard the low rumble and laughed. He asked Tas with a freshly curious tone, “you are hungry, yes?”

Tas responded, “Yes, of course, can you not hear my stomach?”

“Yes, of course I hear. You are the only sound here for many steps,” he laughed to himself, Tas had no idea what the joke was. He only grew angrier each time the old man laughed.

He began to take out some rice, and some water from his pack and heated the water in the pot. He was in a jolly mood indeed, seemingly more so each time Tas grunted with pain from his stomach.

Finally, the rice was finished, the old man added some spices, some nuts, and some dried vegetables that he stirred in with the rice. A couple of minutes later, the old man finished splitting the second half of the rice and placed it at the boys feet. The boy moved to eat…

“Wait!” the old man exclaimed, pushing Tas’ chest up from the floor. Tas groaned furiously.

“I cannot wait! I have never been so hungry in my life!” the boy said, now beginning to feel the pain subside a little less than it was before.

“You want to know god?” The old man looked directly into Tas’ eyes, they seemed to see right into him, and Tas couldn’t help but shiver. Goosebumps lined his hand and legs even though the night was quite warm, but the old man continued to stare. He looked into the embers of the fire and remembered his father, his mother, and the suffering they endured. He remembered his grandfather, whom he had just barely know, but he knew from his father that the man was great, honorable, loved by the whole family.

“Yes, I want to know!” The boy’s anger seemed to spill out, all of his rage accumulated in the words and he couldn’t help but feel the quiet breeze settling around him. The night seemed to grow quieter and twilight was in full bloom, a nearly full moon bright in the sky.

“Good,” said the old man, slower than before. His eyes were closed and he seemed to sway in the breeze. “Then we wait.” Tas stared at the old man for a moment before realizing that he was not going to open his eyes.

“What do we wait for?” Tas said, agitation lacing his voice poisonously.

“Until you are the wind, you wait. Close your eyes. Listen. Breathe slowly. Listen.”

Realizing suddenly that this was his first lesson, Tas immediately shit his eyes and began to listen. But he soon found himself adjusting his sitting. He found that he could not stop thinking about how hungry he was no matter how hard he tried to listen. He started to play with his fingers, waiting for the old man, he couldn’t listen with this hunger in his mind.

The old man, without opening his own eyes, said, “Close your eyes. Do not think of your stomach. Think of god.”

But this only served to perplex the boy more. They were out in the wilderness, under a tree, in the middle of nowhere. How could he think about god here? So he decided to try one more time. He closed his eyes, and this time, took a big breath in. As he inhaled, he could feel his chest expand and as he listened to his breath, he could hear the softness of the wind playing with his breath.

Immediately, the old man laughed, and said, “Good! You know already to learn. This is good. Tomorrow we learn more. Now we eat.”

The boy had forgotten about the food, just for a moment. He had forgotten about everything. He could still feel the breath, but never in the same way. He re-realized his hunger when he began to eat, then almost immediately fell to sleep. He did not think of a blanket, or even of his home, only that one moment, where he had felt so free.

The Wanderer, Part 2 Read More »

Supermassive_Black_Hole

Source Energy

I am going to try to get to the bottom of this argument for a source of things, in particular, the universe. I said in one of my last articles that I had concluded that at the basis of the universe, there must be either an infinite something, or an infinite nothingness. But it continues to occur to me that I might be looking at the problem through a broken lens.

I mean to say that certainly, conscious thought is not well equipped to ask the questions of the immensity of the cosmos. Our scanning system, known as cognition, is best equipped to deal with the present occurrences of the immediate world around us. And Einstein taught us that we live within a relativity, so the gargantuan nature of the universe is not really available to us.

I was further supported in this framing sort of argument when I saw an updated visual representation of the massive galactic supercluster that the earth, sun, and Milky Way are a part of. The Laniakea supercluster research is nothing short of breathtaking, but it is still dismally minuscule in comparison to the sample pool of billions of cluster galaxies. Please check out the very interesting videos below:

In this instance, we are learning more about the universe at large, and it reframes our own existence, perhaps making the vast expanses of the universe a bit more clear in the mind.

This reframing is something that we humans do all of the time, to generalize and make judgements about situations and it is incredibly useful. Anyone who has traveled knows that there are certain cultures normalcies that are pretty much global at this point. Bottled water, phones, vehicles, etc, toilets, or at least replacements for these things. And after the individual has assimilated into the culture, they can usually assume that the cultural normalcies will remain constant.

However, this also becomes a problem, when stereotyping, over-generalizing, or possibly expressing normalization through the creation of an expectation. This is essentially looking at a situation from too far away, trying to analyze a whole without understanding its parts. It is assuming the individual does not have variance from the general population, which is sure to be proven wrong in various ways. It is misunderstanding a whole for many discrete, smaller parts.

It’s easy to see how we use the concept well, and in other cases to our detriment. So now, let’s take a look back into thinking that the universe has an origin, or a source.

We have to disregard Newtonian physics, unfortunately, when talking about the nature of the vast cosmic energy we call the universe. We can use his web theory of gravity though. We cannot consider the universe to be a straight line in every direction into the infinite. It’s curved. Instead of lines or grids, the universe is a vast web of interconnected galaxies, clustering into superclusters that interact with each other and fold onto each other. Unfortunately, we also have to disregard a lot of the events of Interstellar, because you know that ‘human alien’ shit was just a huge, covered up hole in the plot-line. Who gives a damn though, that black hole was fucking awesome! But the dimensional theory was somewhat weak.

Anyways, we have these superclusters of galaxies and most of these galaxies have supermassive black holes at their center, in fact I believe the evidence supports them all as having one. These black holes exhibit tidal flows of energy pulling objects into the event horizon which is where human understanding of the events end. Scientists aren’t really even sure about how they formed, though they have evidence of two other types of black holes, miniature black holes, and stellar black holes, which are exploding stars. No one has any data on miniature black holes.

What we are left with is an amateurish understanding of the nature of black holes, using the lens of Einstein’s theories of relativity to describe event horizons and the functioning of time around the supermassive black hole. And we can move into the modern subatomic research being done and talk about dark matter and dark energy, and our unwieldy understanding of these two enormously important subjects. Dark matter might make up 70% of the cosmic composition, which means we should probably seek to understand more about its properties.

Scientists say that there is a tremendous amount of evidence to state that the universe had a beginning, but I am not so sure we can see it this simply. Perhaps time itself begins at a certain point outside of an event horizon, but why do we just assume we know what is going on inside? If space-time folds, which it does indeed do, then certainly these event horizons could be related to massive shift in cosmic energies. Even if this is not the case, scientists have to take into account that what we may be looking at is a small relative frame of the entire universe. So that the matter around the Earth may be expanding at extraordinary increasing rates, but it could be that we are moving further from a relativity event horizon and that the matter around us is simply expanding very quickly right now.

I suppose I do not see all of this “evidence” for a big bang. The folding of space-time would explain why we continue to see things as moving farther apart until a massive event occurs. We have to remember that this could be one instance of a fluctuating system that expands and contracts, as all of the known matter is shown to do. We have evidence for a beginning, but this in no way seems to be a ‘first beginning’. It is an egotistical assumption because we view ourselves as the epitome of life in the universe. So perhaps this instance has a beginning, but we cannot really tell whether it is just another relative frame we are looking at from a distance, not truly understand how the individual parts fit into the sum of the whole.

So what, there is leftover radiation that we can see everywhere from our little planet into the stars. CMB is not enough evidence for me to say that there was a beginning of the universe, though it does seem to denote a massive event at one point or another. Perhaps this massive event is recurring, so there are many big bangs that have happened in the past. Perhaps we are in one frame of the universe where time moves differently than the others, so we are in a period of massive expansion in our galactic supercluster.

Essentially, what I am trying to say, is that the theories all seem to be very weak hypotheses to me, because there simply isn’t enough data, or evidence to really understand beyond our own relativity. Even the fourth dimension, time, if you want to call it that, is a very complex concept that must be stacked on the other 3 to be meaningful. Even then it folds on itself and the other dimensions as the state of the object changes. However, I’m not too sure that dimensions really work well for measuring relativity. They are simply looking glasses through which we can measure things.

Why are you going on and on about black holes and the big bang theory anyways? I am simply trying to get across the point that there is so much that we, the human species, simply do not understand in our own relative context. So we connect the dots and the connected dots form our personal picture of the universe. But perhaps the picture we are viewing is just a small glimpse into a landscape that is far vaster than any instrument we’ve created can measure.

We should take a step back from concluding. Data and evidence are what are really important so conclusions are really irrelevant. The entire world wants a finished product, but the truth is that there is only process.

I saw an american heart association article linking marijuana to heart attack events. It was based on a survey of people saying whether or not they had smoked before the heart attack. It is honestly a big joke in my head, that they use survey results at all. Why the hell wouldn’t someone lie about their marijuana usage? It was even more illegal and culturally unacceptable back in 2001 when the study was done. This is the type of results oriented science that is a complete waste of resources. They were trying to prove something with a survey, then succeeded. Big surprise.

Basically, I am saying that our human faculties, though limited, as the best tools we have for examining the nature of the cosmos. We have to understand them before we can really understand anything about the general nature of the universe. Especially something as old as the “big bang” event. So let’s just all stop concluding and focus on the data for a while.

In a side note, perhaps there is a small event horizon at the center of the brain that we call consciousness. But we can’t see it because it is electromagnetic and doesn’t necessarily produce magnetism, but it links us to the vast cosmic energetic events that are occurring in dimensions we are not currently aware of. This, to me, is on the same level of assumption as the big bang, because we do have to understand ourselves as cosmic beings with incredibly powerful consciousness that have dramatic effects on the things around us. Use it wisely on the playground.

Source Energy Read More »

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