meditation

desert_wandering

The Wanderer, Part 2

Please read the first part of the story here: The Wanderer, Part 1

There was once a boy, who decided that he would follow a wanderer into the desert to learn about god. The boy’s name was Tas. After receiving the approval of his parents, he travelled into the desert in the apprenticeship of a wandering wise man to find perfect bliss, realization of the divine, and to learn god.

They walked until the small town  once a few hours had passed in silence, the boy began to ask the sage questions. However, the desert man did not respond. At first he listened, but upon hearing the boy’s questions, the teacher dismissed his words. The boy fell silent, angry that he had been duped into following an old man who wouldn’t talk.

Finally, they came to a tree, alone in the vast expanse of desert, rising into the setting sun like a monolith of entangled roots, branches, and a thick trunk supporting a massive web of leaves fanning out in all directions.

Upon arrival, the old man seemed to inspect some different areas of the tree, then he hit some things, moved some rocks, then he grabbed under a protruding root for a small sack. Inside, Tas could barely make out some old and dusty looking jars and a few scrolls. The old man grabbed one of the smaller jars and a small but very sharp knife.

Then the sage, slow as usual when not walking in the hot sun, took his time to uncover a hidden pot and then gathered some stones to place in a circle for a fire. The grass was a dead golden brown, and the sun was setting down into the horizon, purple and pink streaks of light shone through the powerful clouds illuminating the sky. Tas’ stomach rolled on itself; he was just starting to realize the effects of walking all day without eating. He clutched his stomach.

“We can eat now?” He said simply, not wanting to offend the sage, fearing that his meal might depend upon it. The sage looked at him for a long moment and waited. Suddenly, he laughed.

Tas was confused. Who was this man who had led him astray into the desert and seemed to know the way so well. He thought the man was holy and knew of god and that sort of thing, but he was beginning to think that this man was simply insane and very poor.

The old man laughed again, as if he knew what the boy was thinking. “You don’t think twice about god now. Funny, how easy we forget.”

The boy had no idea what the man meant. Yes, he was on his journey to god. What was the old man talking about? Surely he didn’t need to focus on his mission every moment of the day.

“I don’t think about god because I am hungry.” Tas said slowly, uncertain of the old man’s eccentric responses. He looked up from his arranging of stones, which he had been finishing for the last 5 minutes. He began to use the knife to cut wood from the tree for the fire. Tas wondered how long it might take.

The sage seemed to move even slower. He made no response to Tas, which just proved to infuriate him further. Tas’ stomach was beginning to really hurt now, he could not remember ever going a day without a meal.

He watched as the old man slowly started a fire, using a flint and tinder that he carried with him. Tas was preoccupied with his stomach, it was really starting to growl now. The sage heard the low rumble and laughed. He asked Tas with a freshly curious tone, “you are hungry, yes?”

Tas responded, “Yes, of course, can you not hear my stomach?”

“Yes, of course I hear. You are the only sound here for many steps,” he laughed to himself, Tas had no idea what the joke was. He only grew angrier each time the old man laughed.

He began to take out some rice, and some water from his pack and heated the water in the pot. He was in a jolly mood indeed, seemingly more so each time Tas grunted with pain from his stomach.

Finally, the rice was finished, the old man added some spices, some nuts, and some dried vegetables that he stirred in with the rice. A couple of minutes later, the old man finished splitting the second half of the rice and placed it at the boys feet. The boy moved to eat…

“Wait!” the old man exclaimed, pushing Tas’ chest up from the floor. Tas groaned furiously.

“I cannot wait! I have never been so hungry in my life!” the boy said, now beginning to feel the pain subside a little less than it was before.

“You want to know god?” The old man looked directly into Tas’ eyes, they seemed to see right into him, and Tas couldn’t help but shiver. Goosebumps lined his hand and legs even though the night was quite warm, but the old man continued to stare. He looked into the embers of the fire and remembered his father, his mother, and the suffering they endured. He remembered his grandfather, whom he had just barely know, but he knew from his father that the man was great, honorable, loved by the whole family.

“Yes, I want to know!” The boy’s anger seemed to spill out, all of his rage accumulated in the words and he couldn’t help but feel the quiet breeze settling around him. The night seemed to grow quieter and twilight was in full bloom, a nearly full moon bright in the sky.

“Good,” said the old man, slower than before. His eyes were closed and he seemed to sway in the breeze. “Then we wait.” Tas stared at the old man for a moment before realizing that he was not going to open his eyes.

“What do we wait for?” Tas said, agitation lacing his voice poisonously.

“Until you are the wind, you wait. Close your eyes. Listen. Breathe slowly. Listen.”

Realizing suddenly that this was his first lesson, Tas immediately shit his eyes and began to listen. But he soon found himself adjusting his sitting. He found that he could not stop thinking about how hungry he was no matter how hard he tried to listen. He started to play with his fingers, waiting for the old man, he couldn’t listen with this hunger in his mind.

The old man, without opening his own eyes, said, “Close your eyes. Do not think of your stomach. Think of god.”

But this only served to perplex the boy more. They were out in the wilderness, under a tree, in the middle of nowhere. How could he think about god here? So he decided to try one more time. He closed his eyes, and this time, took a big breath in. As he inhaled, he could feel his chest expand and as he listened to his breath, he could hear the softness of the wind playing with his breath.

Immediately, the old man laughed, and said, “Good! You know already to learn. This is good. Tomorrow we learn more. Now we eat.”

The boy had forgotten about the food, just for a moment. He had forgotten about everything. He could still feel the breath, but never in the same way. He re-realized his hunger when he began to eat, then almost immediately fell to sleep. He did not think of a blanket, or even of his home, only that one moment, where he had felt so free.

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Phillip Miller's photo

The Best Way to Wake up

I got a chance to visit the Sierra Hot Springs last night and came back this morning. It was an interesting experience, both because of the Hot Springs and the relaxing atmosphere of the mountains. The elevation is probably about 6,000 feet high and the springs are 108 degrees. Extremely hot.

It took some getting use to, that was for sure. But the water was so relaxing; when I put my shoulders under the water, I couldn’t keep my eyes open. There were two cold pools as well, with water that was about 55 or 60 degrees, for cooling down in between sessions of the hot pool. It was a pretty cool experience. After a couple rotations in the hot tub, I went straight to sleep.

I woke up to a brisk gust of wind and birds chirping loudly in the evergreen trees, some were sequoias. I did the hot/cold rotation in the spa a couple more times, then went in the 80 or so degree pool outside and let the sun dry me off. The most relaxing part of this whole experience were the shifts and changes in my breath and how my body relaxed drastically with the heat and changes in temperature. It made me rethink the ways that I wake my body up in the mornings. I think that the changes in temperature in the shower are probably similarly therapeutic. Kundalini practitioners wake to cold showers to stimulate the nerves. Needless to say, it was a blissful way to wake up. But after its relaxation, this experience made me miss something… waking up to do yoga.

That may sound a bit weird, but meditation are beginning to become a really special part of the day for me. Right when I wake up, if I can get 10 minutes of breath focus and a few yin asanas I feel amazing. But I am getting back into a routine of working, which means that I am also getting back into my ashtanga routine. The stimulation of sun salutations and breathing exercises in the morning is an incredible way to wake up the mind.

Sun Salutations are probably the most powerful exercises I know of to wake up the spine. They sooth the body, stretch arms, legs, and flex and bend the spine back and forth, then proceed to increase heart rate and stimulate the circulatory system over time. Throw some jump-backs, jump-throughs, chair poses, warrior 1s, handstands, and of course everyone’s favorite chaturanga in there and you have some extreme burpee-like calisthenic exercises. Tomorrow I am going to start a sun salutation video series, or at least try to get one rolling without a goPRO.

I am planning on starting a new video series tomorrow teaching the fundamental poses of surya namaskara A. Surya is the sun god from Hinduism, to whom the poses are devoted. I’ll show you some of the techniques I use to wake my body up in the morning with the sequence. Stay tuned and check back tomorrow yogis…

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Sunset

Learning to Slow Down

Yoga is an extraordinarily powerful tool. Especially for someone with a hyperactive mind.

When I was 6 I was diagnosed with ADD and given a prescription for Ritalin. I was a little troublemaker with a big imagination; a dangerous combination for any parents. At six I was recommended by my first grade teacher to see a neurologist to examine my behavior and cognition; he had me play with blocks, asked me to touch my nose and keep track of both of my fingers at the same time. Some general cognitive tests. He thought medication would be best considering that it was not a severe case, but fit perfectly into the symptoms of ADD. Plus I struggled with behavior in school.

I took a pill each morning that had positive effects on my behavior for the classroom environment. It made me focus on learning rather than allowing my attention to wander and continually distract other people while they worked, which it often still does. My learning wasn’t affected, but everyone else’s learning. Over the next few years, it became obvious that I was a very disruptive student and did not do well with rules, organization, or authority. Especially unwarranted authority or meaningless rules. I still don’t like any of those things. My mind simply functions at a higher level and processes faster and more creatively with disorganization. Over time, I have come to view this as a creative attribute rather than a defect or disorder.

In high school I began questioning my need to take a pill in the morning. What made me so different from anyone else? My sophomore year I stopped taking it so much. In the summer between my sophomore and junior year I took summer school to get ahead. During summer school my parents and I did some behavioral analysis with one of the teachers; he was a pretty awesome teacher. He noticed significant shifts in my behaviors based on whether I had taken medication or not and would fill out evaluations throughout the days. It was obvious that the medication helped in school. This solidified my need for the medication for the remainder of high school, though now I was in charge. We upped the dosage because I had been taking the same pill since 1st grade and changed drugs to Conserta, a new time release formula that supposedly had superior release mechanisms.

Conserta was awful. Junior year of high school was probably one of the most depressing times in my life. The come-downs were extremely saddening and dark; some of the worst feelings that I have ever felt were on that drug. We tried again with Adderoll and that worked better, though nothing ever seemed as smooth as the Ritalin. I now attribute this to an increased awareness as a result of trying the different drugs, rather than the drugs themselves or Ritalin being superior to the others. This time was definitely an intense time of self-discovery and learning about myself, not to mention the fact that I was 17. It was a rough year; I sprained my ankle badly to take me out of rugby and my social life struggled due to the depressions of the drugs.

Senior year was much smoother; I learned to regulate the new drug, Adderoll. I had a phenomenal second semester of my senior year, in sports, socially, and in the classroom. I got a 3.8, scored in the national rugby championship to come in second in the nation, and developed friendships that remain strong today. Then college happened.

I left Sacramento for the unknown of Spokane, Washington in the eastern portion of the state. I isolated myself at Gonzaga, a Jesuit school. I still have the utmost confidence in the Jesuit education system; those priests are some of the smartest, most spiritual people on the planet. My high school had about 20 of them, but I didn’t meet too many in college, likely due to my aversion to church.

I struggled at first; I was alone when I had such close friends from high school and took plenty of classes off to hang out with new people. But school was ridiculously easy after the great education of Jesuit High and I didn’t have to try too hard. The rugby team was easy-going and kind of competitive; a complete opposition to my high school experience. Adderoll became less a part of my life than ever before.

Freshman year passed without much incident. Sophomore was much of the same, until the second semester when I started taking the core classes for my business major and realized that the business education was not for me. The teachers taught directly from text books and had a few tests a semester; which in my personal opinion becomes useless and forgotten information. I can learn from a text-book by myself; at least I thought this until I didn’t study at all. My grades were awful and my motivation even worse. Then I switched majors.

I had planned to do an international business so that I could travel and see the world all while making millions. It became pretty apparent that this course of study would not work, so I changed to French, which I had planned to minor in. This allowed me to spend one year in Paris, rather than the 5 months of a single semester that my business major would have allowed. My grades in French were not great and the teachers were hesitant to send me over; if I was struggling at Gonzaga, surely I would struggle in Paris. I probably would have if I wasn’t exposed to yoga.

My first days home were a bit boring, but my mom asked one day if I wanted to try yoga; which I had never really heard of and figured it might be a good workout. I took one class with Scott Emerich at East Wind in Roseville and got hooked. That summer, I took classes from Destiny and Ryan and a passion grew inside of me. Meditation, especially physical mediation, was unlike anything I had ever done before. I loved it and that summer did yoga every day. I knew I was leaving the country, but had become so hooked on my practice that I wanted to keep going while I was there. Ryan, who I am eternally grateful to, gave me a few yoga books like the Gita, and recorded classes from Rusty Wells and Bryan Kest.

I took my mat over to Paris and loved every second of France. My best friend in the whole world, Kevin Taya, was there and I hadn’t seen him in a couple of years. Kevin first visited my family as a foreign exchange student when we were sixteen and we were best friends ever since. His family became a second family to me and I spent Christmas, New Year’s, my birthday, and a few other holidays in his quaint and beautiful house in Nandy, about 45 minutes via RER (the public train system) Southeast of Paris.

My first semester, I got a 4.0. I worked hard to learn the language and immerse myself in the culture; it became apparent when my oral French skills improved so dramatically that I got compliments constantly from my teachers when I returned home when I had been previously critiqued (and rightfully so). I got a membership at Bikram Paris for a few months and did my first juice cleanse. I adjusted magnificently to the challenge of a new country, language, culture, and history; I also loved being an American around people from all over the world. But nothing is as expansive for the imagination as a new language in a new city, in my personal opinion.

I think of that year in Paris as the year that I learned who I was, or at least who I have the potential to be. Meditation changed my life, yoga was something I did to equilibriate my body physically and I could tell that the mental benefits were enormous. I did my practice most days. I had even gotten a new drug, Focalin, which was my favorite of all the drugs I had taken so far; the come-down was lighter than Adderoll and the “up” was not as intense. I probably used it a total of 5 times in France; I honestly forgot about it.

All things set aside, I no longer take medication. At all. Yoga taught me that going fast has its consequences; eventually the body will catch up with the mind. I have always been a speed demon in skiing, running, learning, reading, you name it I’ve tried to go fast doing it. Yoga taught me the joys of going slow, of actually enjoying the moments as they come and go instead of always rushing to the next thing. Being in a rush is not how you want to live! Because truthfully, life is happening all around you all the time; when you are solely focused on only one things its easy to miss what is happening around you.

Now I think that I am learning to slow down even more; to allow my mind to fluctuate rather than reacting to sensations or feelings. Now I am be able to observe these peaks and valleys as they happen. This is especially important in emotional intelligence; to sift through situations with intuition and mindfulness rather than bulldozing others to get what you want (something I have done my whole life) or by forcing your own agenda on the situation. Slowing down allows you to actually enjoy the things that you cultivate and create in your life, rather than just moving on to what’s next. Take a deep breath and enjoy the flow; it will only happen once.

Carpe Diem is a concept that I think fits in well here, but lets tweak it a bit to Carpe Omnia. Seize every moment of your limited time.

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lotus

The 8 Limbs of Yoga (part 6: Dharana)

Dharana is a single pointed concentration of the mind, focus on a single thing supported by the retention of the breath. This is the 6th state of yoga, after the withdrawal of the senses in pratyahara and after the body has been tempered, the breath calmed and stilled, and the external environment cared for, as well as the internal bodily function of the yogi. Indeed, Dharana is a late stage of the progression of the yogi and must be followed with care and conscientiousness. It it towards the end of the path that it is easiest to stay from the ultimate goal. Don’t end up lost.

Dharana is a key to this. The yogi evokes a single concentration during the practice; dristhi towards the ultimate goal of union with the divine. It is only when a yogi is supported by his endeavors outside that he will be free to pursue the infinite realm of feeling and what is inside. Humans are stuck between two infinite abysses; the infinite smallness of the atom versus the infinite expanses of space of the universe. Our consciousness seems to be able to find stillness despite it all, to be able to create stillness and balance in the midst of the chaos of our universe. This is the gift of Dharana.

It is with the single-minded focus that the yogi is free to pursue blissful freedom. Possessions, attachments, and excess are left to follow the purest bliss, the highest nirvana, and ultimate happiness. This limb is the first of the Samyama, or utilizing Dharana, Dhyana, and Samadhi to truly know an object of the mind’s focus. This is why it is important to minimize distraction with the 5th limb of yoga, pratyahara, so that the objects of the senses are relinquished and pure concentration of the divine sought.

This is the first of the last three stages of yoga, each of which is intrinsic to the elevation of consciousness and enlightenment into the world of awareness. These are the deepest levels of meditation and lead into the darkest fathoms of the unconscious mind. Stay tuned for the 7th limb of yoga, Dhyana in the next blog in the series.

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Kumbhaka

Samadhi and Kumbhaka seem to be intricately related. Samadhi is the bliss one experiences during Savasana, or after a long meditation or yoga practice and Kumbhaka is the space between breaths, or between inhales and exhales. The more that I practice, the more I find bliss existing in each moment and not simply at the end of a day’s practice, or when the view is good. Finding peace in the present moment seems to lead to being peaceful all the time.

Patanjali taught that the mind fluctuates, between highs and lows, depression and elation. Yoga teaches that breath allows one to control and truly harness the breath; it is the doorway to the unconscious mind. By deepening Kumbhaka, or the time between breaths, a yogi can deepen their state of bliss, leading deeper into the mystical realm of nirvana. The space between the breaths is where the space between thoughts are found; the most blissful of all states. When one is able to simply feel and appreciate the world with gratitude, then all suffering leaves the individual.

The link between the mind and the breath is truly extraordinary. Consciousness, it seems, is the result of having a body; the mind is not only the brain, but by the entire nervous, muscular and skeletal system. We can then assume that the body influences the states of the mind and that breathing is a way to control the body. Breathing is actually one of the most powerful influencers of conscious states; it is functioning minutes after a child leaves the womb and doesn’t cease until death. Breathing even continues when you are unconscious and I believe it is the most powerful link to the unconscious mind, the deepest layers of thought that create consciousness.

Lately I have been playing with lengthening my breaths, to see how long my body can go without breathing while relaxed. Time seems to be constantly increasing between the need for breaths and my ability to slow my breath has improved enormously. At the end of a practice, once my nervous system has calmed, it seems like I can go into extended periods of time without breathing. Buddhist monks are said to be able to stop breathing completely; in fact, some meditate into death by slowing and stopping the organs through breath. Doctors agree that the lifespan of a being is not measured in the amount of time (minutes, seconds, etc) but by the amount of breaths. Breathing is your life force, known as prana in yoga; the lungs encompass the heart, feed and cleanse it and give the body ability to normalize itself to the environment. The breath, it seems, is also the doorway to long life.

Kumbhaka seems to be a pathway to enlightenment and the inner workings of the mind, having deep implications for the unconscious mind, the heart, and entire circulatory system. Poorak is the name for an inhale and Rechak is the name of an exhale in Sanskrit. The different types of Kumbhaka are also important to understand:

  • antar kumbhaka – after the inhale, when the lungs are full
  • bahya kumbhaka – after the exhale, when the lungs are empty
  • Sahit Kumbhaka – performed during the middle of an exhale or inhale
  • Kevali Kumbhaka – complete cessation of breathing, an advanced stage of Kumbhaka after intensive Pranayama and Kumbhaka exercises

Practicing these exercises will calm the nervous system and slow the breath rate, leading to increased vitality and focus of the mind. Humans are one of the few species that can voluntarily stop the breath, whales are a second species, and it gives tremendous insight into the inner workings of consciousness. Over time Kumbhaka exercises may very well lead to ultimate Samadhi, enlightenment, and the realization of god. But in any case, it will certainly bring your mind to a more peaceful state and allow you to be less reactive to the outside world, so that you can enjoy it more. Practice your Kumbhaka and look for the little nooks and crannies that you’ve never felt before; these will turn into new worlds for exploration.

 

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Meditation

Sometimes, I forget how powerful meditation is. It really gets lost in the daily shuffle of american life, but it is so beneficial to clear the mind and make space for new things to come. But after a long day of work, good luck getting anyone unglued from the TV.

I find that 5 minutes in the morning can change my whole day. It allows for a shift in perspective that just isn’t available without spending time to clear your mind. It can help you to space out your reactions, so that you are less reactive and more perceptive.

America is so obsessed with going fast; but I think we really want to go slow in this life, to feel all of the little sensations and feelings that we only get to experience once. Time, it seems, is the ultimate paradox because the more you want it and attach to it, the faster it goes by. Meditation can slow things down.

This is even more important when it comes to health; doctors are learning that lifespans are really measured by breath, rather than by heartbeats, or time. So lengthening and slowing your breath will also help you to live longer (not to mention lower your heart rate, reduce your risks of heart disease, and reduce the negative impacts of stress on the body).

5 minutes is all it takes. You don’t need to spend 5 hours trying to sit still (and good luck if you are trying!), but even extending your time to 20 minutes can completely shift the unconscious mind into a state of relaxation and awareness. We have to remember that we are not truly in control over the mind and that the unconscious is far more powerful than what we are aware of.

So for a few days, before sitting in front of the TV or relieving stress whatever ways that you do, spend 5 minutes just breathing, sitting still, and focusing on your breath or on nothing. It might add some years to your life, as well as appreciation for the present.

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Sitting Still

It’s interesting how hard it is to sit still nowadays. People will almost certainly look at you funny in public, and it seems like people feel weird doing it alone at home.

We are addicted to being busy, or at least seeming to be. People check their cell phone to avoid talking to each other, or to seem important when in a group of people. Its always interesting to put people together and watch them avoid connecting with one another.

Its funny how people think they don’t know how to meditate, almost as if its an ancient mythological practice that isn’t just about sitting, taking relaxed breathes, and trying not to think about anything. Kids should be taught how to do it first thing at school. Imagine if you were in Kindergarten and they taught meditation? That’s the future I see…

Anyways, I taught two classes on Friday, both of which were a blast. I had 7 people in Auburn and 8 in Roseville and we did some cool stuff, lots of warrior 3, lunging, and half moons. Can’t wait for the next time, its interesting how you can kind of sink into a comfortable place when you teach yoga…

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